Things Left Unsaid

I suppose initially it didn't seem real to me. I mean she was so young and I felt I had all the time in the world to tell her how I really felt. Yet there I was, stupidly gazing at the glimmering ornament that now occupied her left ring finger. I managed to fake a fairly pathetic smile and utter congratulations as I secretly punished myself with images of what if.

I remember the first time I laid eyes on her. It was the first time my heart skipped a beat. I was only 13 at the time but 7yrs later and I still have never experienced anything quite like it. She was beautiful. Pure natural beauty, the kind make-up would only taint. Artist could only dream of such a delicate muse, her hair like silk and her eyes like gems. When she spoke my body would melt under the tranquility of her voice. Her speech penetrated my mind like a siren's song. I would have done anything to hear her speak to me. I was captivated by her presence and in every way infatuated by her nature. I was in love, hopelessly and undoubtedly in love.

How could I have known, at 13 to experience what few experience in a lifetime? I don't know how but I did, in fact, know. I could see her so clear in my mind, everywhere I went. She haunted my dreams. Before she even entered a room I could feel my blood boil with anticipation. In my mind I had already committed my heart to her. I knew with unfailing certainty that she was made for me and I for her.

Fast forward seven years and here I am, so many things left unsaid. Irony is loves cruel game, pitting our hearts against our minds. So much of me wants to press on, to discover loves warmth again. So much of me can't move on.